by Kelly

I don't remember exactly where I found this magazine. I think it was my Mom's house. According to the price sticker in the top right corner (unreadable in the picture above), this magazine was originally purchased at Hills - and it was on sale! What would normally cost you $1.39 was on sale for $1.11!! That's .28 cent worth a magazine for freee! Woo hoo! Let's get crafty!

The above is the inside of the front cover. It's an advertisement for something called a Doodle Loom .  I don't really remember this thing, but a quick google search tells me some people do, and it is even still available. Live and learn. Apparently with this gadget you can make scraps of yarn into "pom pom" balls and then make stuff out of said balls. Stuff like the animal toys shown above. Speaking of which.... ha...?

When you were a kid, were you in THE BEST BOOK CLUB EVER!?


I wish I had been, because this book club rocks! You get 3 books for a penny, plus a bonus book (so... 4 books, dar). After 14 days you could return them and owe nothing, or, should you continue in the club, you would get 3 books every month for $3.95 plus postage and handling and local tax. Not bad at all! I am tickled just at the photos. Have I ever mentioned how much Richard Scarry rocked my world? Just the two illustrations above from his books (the cat at top left and the hippo book at bottom right) make me feel warm and fuzzy inside. I am considering a full post on Richard Scarry in the future - who's with me?

Here's proof of the magazine date and stuff:

Here's an awesome ad I found:

I know it's hard to see and read. Clockwise, the chairs are Jane's Frog Chair, Eve's Monkey Chair and Bobby's Cat Chair. The monkey chair rules - I wish you could see it better! The chairs came for the ROCKIN price of 3.99 each plus .95 cents shipping and handling... OR you can get ALL THREE for 10.99 + 1.75! Free personalization! The blurb at top right indicates they are made of "tough, space-age plastic"! And oh, my goodness, it goes on to say they are "pretty yellow Kitty, perky green Frog and bright pink Monkey!" Bright Pink Monkey!!! That's awesome! I want one now. And Bright Pink Monkey would be an awesome name for a band! The faces apparently "squeal with delight when squeezed." I don't know if that is the extent of the "talking," but I wouldn't be surprised. Anyone have one of these back in the day?

Onto the crafts! How about some pipe cleaner mice... "on stage?"


That is a strange stage. I like their Santa hats! If you don't like that you can try...

Oh dear, where to even begin? This is toilet paper, paper towel and gift wrap tubes with gift wrap taped on with one medium California-Arizona orange just balanced on top of each. This, they suggest, is an excellent centerpiece for a dinner party. Yes, if you like oranges rolling onto your lap!

Like a virgin (made of felt)! Hey!

Whoa, just look at the "jewels and gold!" Watch out, someone might steal this thing with all the valuables you've glued to it! I like baby Jesus' mane and how he's just kinda hovering there in mid-air. The brown and orange 70s-ness is hurting my eyes... this is sooo 70s felt Madonna and Child!

If you don't like that you can always build your dream...

Yes, another ridonkulous centerpiece idea from your friends at Woman's Day! Just look at it! How is that even Christmassy? It's just so... loud. But wait - you're not done having fun with foil yet!

You can still make this horrible garland for your mantle! Or maybe these bells?

Or this snowman...? Or Santa's head?

The possibilities are endlessssssssssss........! These stars are essentially straws covered in foil and tied together with silver cord. Yes. Very decorative.


If you're tired of foil, try this:


Don't forget to make some holiday cards!

Rickrack? I thought it was called Bric-A-Brac. Either way... great card designs!!! Especially that one in the top row, second from the left!

Well, this is ugly!

Sometimes I don't even need to add any words.

This is...uh...interesting...?

But, then what do you do with it? The directions say you can "add a decorative arrangement of dots" to the front of the castle, if you'd like. They don't say how, but oooh, how authentic! You may also add balconies.

I guess this next one is actually kind of cute? "Take a tip from the Scandinavians" and make this!

I like the lecture there in that middle paragraph.

If you're not into this, you can always make a...

Just think of all the wonderful silhouettes you could put on your shield! What are the symbols for migraine, anxiety, exhaustion and chronic pain?

We've come to one of my favorite parts of this magazine... stuff made out of used bottles!

I applaud the early recycling effort. Really, I do. But, what in the name of hoes and rakes does this have to do with Christmas:

This is supposed to be a kangaroo holding children's gardening implements. They can't possibly be suggesting this as a gift? Bwahahahahahaha!

But, what about food? I'm glad you asked!

I'm not sure what's going on here... but I like it!!!

God, that picture just makes me feel so happy inside!

Oh no! Why did I turn the page?

You can collect the above "bubbly bow dolls" for fun Christmas presents! Whatever that even means. The bottom left one frightens me so! I think I'll go fool around with

What on Earth is that in the bottom right? Blurg. Were these people getting lazy or what?

Just when I thought all hope was lost, things are looking up again...


That last picture is of wrapping paper you can make with cotton swabs! They tell you how to make the gingerbread man one really smell like gingerbread! If you're not into that, here is some more

Have you ever been sitting around wishing you could play "three kings go visit baby Jesus" but you just can't get into it because you don't look enough like those awesome wise men? Fret no more!

Oh wow, this is very timely... decorating with L'Eggs egg-shaped pantyhose containers!

Another timely suggestion:

Check out that wall around the mirror!


"Give these tasty goodies to your favorite chocoholic"... yeah, maybe they'll quit cold turkey...bird... whatever this is. The writing to the right is for a horrifying clown candy thing, which due to my intense fear of clowns, I refuse to show you (because I'd have to look at it again). I'll let you see this one, though:

Do you want your grandmother to hate you? Try this next gift!

It's absurdly hard to see, but yes, that is a toothbrush with a ribbon around it at the top of the tree!

Here's some ugly jewelry you can make for your frienemies:

Some words of wisdom: 

Here is said suggestion:

How about a

*GACK* That looks like a crazy poodle or something. That doesn't look like a pig! Not even a pretty one! Not even a pig with lipstick!

If you're ok with Grandma, but would like your Mom to hate you, you could try this lovely book cover for her Christmas gift:

If you're just not into any of these crafts, try sending a letter from Uncle Toby:

Eight dollars! That's more than the book club membership and one talking chair combined! Well, almost! Yeah, no google hits on the Uncle Toby Letters search! As a last-ditch option for gift-giving, you can always try this:

Or just stick with the Doodle Loom. Why give less than the best?!

(Posted 12/2008)